Why Presence Matters More Than Fixing

This past week, my son got braces.

Now, this isn’t a dramatic life event by most standards—but as I watched him wincing in discomfort, and trying to smile through sore cheeks, I felt that deep, familiar tug inside me: the ache of watching your child in pain and not being able to take it away.

We knew it was coming. We talked about it, prepared for it, even stocked up on soft foods. But what I wasn’t prepared for was how hard it would be to see him in pain, unable to eat his favorite dinner, barely speaking, and quietly holding back tears.

It brought me back to what so many of you express in our sessions: "I just want to fix it for them." Whether it’s a tantrum, a heartbreak, school struggles, or yes—even the literal tightness of braces—watching our children hurt is one of the hardest parts of parenting.

Here’s what I was reminded of this week, and I hope offers value to you too:

Sometimes our role isn't to fix the pain. It's to sit beside it. To acknowledge it. To model resilience through it.

I couldn’t remove the pressure on his teeth or make the pain go away instantly—but I could offer him a smoothie, rub his back, and tell him, “I know this is rough. And I’m so proud of you for handling it.” I could remind him, gently, that this discomfort had a purpose. That growth often comes with a little pain.

That this wasn’t forever, even though it felt like it.

Isn’t that true for so many of the challenges our kids face?

We all want to protect our kids from pain, and yet so much of growing up—and growing strong—requires going through it. Whether it’s braces, a broken friendship, or a tough math test, the same truth applies.

BUT, Sometimes..

You don’t have to remove the discomfort.
You just have to be a steady place for your child to land.

Here’s what I’m inviting you to reflect on this week:

• When your child is struggling, what’s your first instinct—to fix or to witness?

• How can you sit with them, instead of rushing to rescue?

• What messages are you sending about discomfort, resilience, and growth—without even realizing it?

Parenting isn’t about making our kids' path pain-free. It’s about helping them walk through the tough parts feeling seen, supported, and capable.

And sometimes, it’s about sitting in the kitchen at 10 PM, blending up another smoothie, and offering a quiet, “I’m here.”

If you're ready to take your parenting to the next level, or feel stuck in your parenting journey, message me directly or a book a free Parenting Roadmap call.

Best,
Dr. Sarita