When Expectations Meet Reality and Nothing Goes the Way You Imagine

Last week, I signed my 2-year-old up for swim lessons.

He’s usually happy in water—baths, sprinklers, even the pool—so I genuinely thought this would go well. I imagined him jumping joyfully, blowing bubbles, and having the time of his life.

But when the day came?
He cried.
He clung to me.
He refused to even step near the water.

And I’ll be honest—it triggered something in me.

I felt frustrated, disappointed, even angry.

My thoughts were racing:
“He loves water, what’s going on?”
“Why is he being so difficult?”
“We paid for this. Why won’t he try?

But under the surface, this is what was was really happening:

My expectations had taken over, and my child’s actual needs were taking a back seat.

So I paused.
I breathed.
And I coached myself.

I reminded myself: He’s not trying to ruin the day. He’s overwhelmed. He’s only 2.

This is a new, loud, crowded, and unfamiliar environment.

It doesn’t matter what he liked yesterday—this moment is different, and he needs me to show up for him right now, not for the version of him I hoped would appear.

Here are a few takeaways I’m holding close from that day:

1. Expectations Are Often Unspoken—and Heavy
   I didn’t even realize how tightly I was holding onto an image of how the swim lesson would go. Letting go of that ideal allowed me to actually tune into the reality.

2. Big Emotions in Me Deserve Attention Too
   Feeling angry or frustrated doesn’t make us bad parents . We are human. But how we respond to those emotions is where our power lies.

3. Pause Before You React
   That pause—just a moment to breathe—was everything. It gave me space to respond with intention instead of reacting from my own stress.

4. Coaching Isn’t Just for Kids
   I had to remind myself of what I’d tell another parent: Your child is learning, and so are you.

5. Connection Comes First
   My child didn’t need to “perform” that day. He needed to feel safe, seen, and supported. That connection was far more important than any swim skill.

Parenting will always throw us curveballs. What matters most is how we meet those moments—with compassion, flexibility, and the willingness to grow right alongside our kids.

If you’ve had moments like this—where you needed to calm yourself before guiding your child—you’re not alone.

If you're ready to take your parenting to the next level, or feel stuck in your parenting journey, message me directly or a book a free Parenting Roadmap call.

Best,
Dr. Sarita